Blind
by HopelesslyChanny
Summary: "Do you think that maybe, just maybe, he hates you because he loves you?"


**I got the inspiration for this while brushing my teeth. That's right, it strikes when you least expect it! XP**

**Hope everyone likes it :) I certainly do. I wrote most of this during English - after all, it's not like there's anything better to do ;P**

* * *

It was there, all along. No – he was there. He had waited for me and I had brushed it off as rivalry, jealousy…even hate. But this was far from hate. It was…

I couldn't bring myself to say it. Part of me still didn't think it was true. That one little comment, that one remark, had changed my world.

The words still echoed in my mind as if I was reliving the scene all over again.

_"Why does he hate me so much?"_

_She was silent, refusing to make eye contact._

_"Tawni, why? I know you know."_

_The silence continued. It was killing me – I had to know what she was hiding._

_"Why?" I spoke a bit louder now. I think we could both sense the desperation in my voice._

_"Sonny", she blurted out, unable to hide it any longer, "do you think that maybe, just maybe, he hates you because he loves you?"_

No.

Simply said, this had obviously never crossed my mind. Was it supposed to? Had it been evident to everyone else but me? Suddenly, it seemed like I was the only one left. It was a scary thought – not knowing something everyone else knew, something concerning me so directly. It was as if I was being left out of my own life.

I was lost. How was it possible that after almost two years, I hadn't once thought about him in that way?

Of course, now, I felt totally different, like a whole other world had opened up – perhaps another dimension. There were so many more thoughts to think, so many feelings to feel. I couldn't sort through them. For me, all my emotions had simply been thrown together, like pieces of an unsolved puzzle someone had given up on.

But that wasn't entirely true – I hadn't given up.

Not on Chad.

He deserved to know, not to wait around for me forever. After all, he had already done his fair share of waiting.

Now, it was I who was waiting.

The taxi drove at an excruciatingly slow pace, only doubling my fear and prolonging this whole venture. The driver stopped at every yellow light, then argued with me about traffic light colours while driving in the slow lane behind a dairy truck. I argued back for a while. After fifteen minutes of pointless traffic talk, I could no longer stand it. I put my fingers in my ears.

The driver only smirked and muttered something I couldn't quite lip-read, but had a fairly good idea of.

In a way, this was a nice distraction…but that was all it was. It was in no way a solution to my problem or a permanent escape. Whether I liked it or not, I would just have to face it.

I took my fingers out of my ears. "Oscar", I looked at his name-tag, "have you ever been completely oblivious to something, then realized it was staring right at you the whole time?"

"'Fraid that's called being blind, love."

Blind…

Sometimes it was a total stranger that would make the most sense.

"Tell you what, love", he turned to smile at me, "see that next light over there?"

"Yeah."

He smiled again and lowered his foot onto the gas pedal.

It was red by the time we'd passed it, but regardless, I think it had been his first ever violation of the law.

The taxi skidded to a halt at the next street.

"This is it."

I looked out the window at the sleepy little neighborhood and suddenly sank down in my seat.

"No. No, no. No no no no no!"

"No what?"

"No – I'm not doing this. Take me back." My breathing got a little faster.

Was that my heart leaping out of my chest?

"Look, you seem nice and all, but I hope you'll understand that _I do not ever want to drive you anywhere again_, okay? Now please pay the fare and get out of my car."

I blinked at his stretched out hand, then shakily handed him some money and turned for the door. The lock opened with ease and I tumbled out.

The taxi drove off before I was even safely on the footpath.

"Thanks", I muttered.

Number seventeen was just a few houses away. I forced myself off the ground and silently smiled at the emptiness of the street – Sonny Monroe peeling herself off the sidewalk would have been quite a sight.

Then again, what I was about to do would have made the front page.

I took a deep breath and began walking. With each step, I had to remind myself of my reasons for being here in the first place. My feet were walking on, but only with an ongoing persuasion from my brain. My whole body was shaking.

I didn't really _have_ to do this. But I was, wasn't I? And I couldn't exactly get back home now that I was here – this street didn't seem to have people, let alone taxis.

I was alone.

But not for long, I hoped. Number seventeen was right in front of me.

I stepped up to the door, my finger poised and aimed at the doorbell. That's when my overactive brain finally kicked in.

_Ring, Sonny. Ring. Do it._

_No, what are you thinking?! Knock!_

_But what if he doesn't hear it?_

_Of course he'll hear it – look at that giant door knocker!_

I noticed that my lip was bleeding. Had I been chewing on it the whole time? Oh, I couldn't come in like this!

_I should just turn back and go home._

I reached towards the door and knocked.

No, no, no. Had I really done that? I'd really done that. Oh my God. Maybe I would just run now. Knock and run.

My feet wouldn't move, despite the increasing fear now building up inside of me. Nothing would move. I was afraid I had stopped breathing.

The whole world was going dark, all the lights turning off, one by one.

My view of the house was slowly fading until all I could see was the opening door.

With Chad's smile, everything came rushing back. I found my balance. I felt the rise and fall of my chest. Suddenly, it seemed like I'd never been as sure of myself as I was now.

"I love you."

"Well", he smirked, "finally."


End file.
